The New Ninja
by ATwithFionnaAndCakeUnofficial
Summary: Randy Cunningham is dead. Without the ninja, there is more chaos than ever. Fortunately, there is one person who can take his place and make the school safe again. Nomi!Randy is back, and badder than ever. He's the only one who can bring balance back to Norrisville High, but he'll only do it if he can win the heart of the only girl worth fighting for.
1. PROLOGUE

PROLOGUE

"What's up party people?! This is your girl Hiedi here, bringing you the know how, know now!," the cheerful redhead announced with a smile on her face. If anyone really paid attention to the girl, they would notice that her eyes weren't smiling.

"I'm here to bring some breaking news!," a frown invaded the usually cheerful girl's face. She gulped, looking to the side where her superiors stared at her. They nodded solemnly, urging her to continue. When she looked back into the camera, her voice cracked when she said what no one wanted to hear.

"This afternoon, during what was SUPPOSED to be a calm, relaxing lunch period…," she started, her lip quivering, "our very own Ninja...is MISSING." At that, a tear ran down Hiedi's face, her very being losing any and all composure. The shocking news was televised across every classroom, interrupting lectures and tests. Those things weren't as important as the Ninja, so no one cared if a class was interrupted with the most shocking news in all of the high school's history. Once Hiedi started to cry into her palms, the director urged the camera-dude the international "cut" signal, and the broadcast abruptly ended.

Panic ensued.

* * *

No one noticed that Howard Weinerman failed to attend his art class. Amidst all of the chaos, the panic, no one noticed that the Ninja's best and only friend forgot about class altogether, and was outside of the building, sobbing on the ground. He clutched the ground with all of his might, feeling as if his world had ended.

Randy Cunningham wasn't missing.

Randy Cunningham was dead.


	2. Chapter 1

It was the first period of the school day, and as usual, every student did not want to be there. Not only because they were at school, but it was a Monday, the day when no child wanted to get up earlier than, oh, 12 PM. The groggy students shuffled into their respective classes, eyes drooping and saliva dripping down their faces. Only the diligent students, or "nerds", made an effort to pay attention to their stressed out, underpaid teachers.

Randy Cunningham was of the former lot of students. He was resting his head in his arms, trying not to fall asleep during this crucial class. Goodness knows why he decided to take a history course his junior year. He should have taken it next year, when his course load would be less strenuous and when he would have the pleasure of looking forward to college.

Senior year would also be the last year he would be the ninja.

Did Randy want to give up being the ninja? He couldn't really say.

He bumped into Howard during study hall, the only period Randy had with his best friend. No longer did the two share any classes together. They didn't even have the same lunch period. It was times like this that Randy was thankful for, as he was always the one person who never forgot his existence.

"Howard!"

"Cunningham, hey! You'll never guess what they're serving for lunch today!," Howard grinned mischievously, eyeing Cunningham with a look that only meant-

"TATER TOTS?!"

"You know it! And I had the pleasure of eating most of them…," Howard bragged as they entered the classroom.

"Hey Randy!," Theresa Fowler smiled warmly at her boyfriend as he entered the room.

"Hey, sweetheart," Randy leaned down to kiss the girl. Howard and Theresa's best friend, Debbie Kang, rolled their eyes at the 'passionate' scene.

Randy and Howard took their seats in front of the two girls, as usual. Randy turned around and chattered with his girlfriend. Debbie put her earbuds in and actually did her homework, which was a rare occurence for people in study hall. Howard sat there eating his sandwich, falling in love with pastrami all over again.

"Howard, didn't you just have lunch?," his sister, Hiedi Weinerman strode in along with his crush, Morgan, asked as they both took the seats in front of Howard and Randy. It wasn't at all odd. Seniors and juniors sometimes shared classes, and Howard even had a few periods with his older sibling. Leave it to his sister to ask the most obvious questions even though she knew his schedule by heart.

"Um...yes?"

Hiedi only rolled her eyes at her brother. Swallowing, Howard wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smirked at Morgan.

"Hey Morgan, you're looking fine."

Morgan only scrunched her nose at him in disgust and decided to complete her math homework. Hiedi rolled her eyes at her brother's attempt at 'flirting' and decided to finish some assignments for her journalism class.

"Woah, you're writing about feminism?! That's so cool! My mom majored in women's studies and taught me a whole lot about it when I was younger! I even took a women's studies course last summer, it was intense!" Randy looked over Hiedi's shoulder, enchanted by her writing. Hiedi stiffened at his close proximity and turned to face him. Big mistake, as their faces were only inches apart.

"Do you mind?"

"Huh? Oh! Oh, right, my bad," the boy gave her a sheepish grin and went back to talking to his girlfriend.

"Thanks, Candy!," Hiedi chirped, going back to her assignment.

Silence fell among the four friends, knowing that any minute now…

Randy sighed and turned to the redhead, his scowl dominating his features.

"It's RANDY! RHANN-DEE! Why can you not get that right?! We've known each other for YEARS and you never call me-"

"Alright, alright! Whatever you want, Brandy! Now let me finish my article!," Hiedi turned to snap at him, once again getting his name wrong.

At this, Randy just groaned into his hands. Before Theresa could comfort her overly dramatic boyfriend, a large explosion could be seen at the football field, sending everyone into terror.

"Attention! Attention, everyone!," the principal said over the loudspeakers. "There is chaos happening outside! We're all in danger! However, classes are not cancelled! I repeat, classes are not cancelled! The ninja should be on his way to save our lives! So carry on, students! And NO SCREAMING."

Once the announcement ended, panic rose among the student body.

"What's he mean, classes aren't cancelled?!"

"What kind of school is this?"

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

"The Ninja should save us!"

Randy sighed. Well, so much for having a relaxing study hall.

"UH, Mr. Orenji? Can I go to the, uh, bathroom?" Randy asked, needing to perform his duty-uh, his NINJA duty, that is.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now-"

"But I gotta GOOOO!," Randy whined. The teacher only sighed at the junior's immature antics and gave him permission to leave.

Randy smiled and got up to leave the classroom. Moments later, Howard joined him in the hallway.

"So you got Mr. Orenji to let out of the classroom the same time I got out? That's pretty impressive, considering he never lets people do anything-"

"Now's the not time for that, Cunningham!," Howard interrupted him, giving his friend an unusually serious look.

"Woah buddy, why are you getting all serious right now?," Randy asked, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

"...That explosion seemed pretty serious. I mean, it's not like there are any students getting stank'd or any robots. It was just...an EXPLOSION."

"Psh, so? What, you think it'll be dangerous?," Randy started laughing, and Howard chuckled along, realizing how foolish he was acting. He didn't need to worry. His friend was the NINJA, for cheese's sake. He could handle ANYTHING.

Just to prove how wrong his friend was, Randy decided to get advice from Howard's worse enemy.

"..Oh. You again," Howard directed menacingly towards the ninja's trusty nomicon.

At this, Randy schloomped into the book, leaving Howard to look over his limp body.

Randy hurtled into the world of the nomicon, smiling at the neon doodles that flew around him. When the ground reached his sight, he spun around and landed on his feet, grinning in victory.

"Hey, hey, Nomicon! So, like, McFist is at it again, yadayadayada, and I wanna know how to defeat him, although that's real easy to do! I mean, Howard's just kinda sorta worried, which makes ME kinda sorta worried, so, I mean, ya know what I'm saying! So, oh wise and powerful Ninja Nomicon, grant me your wisdom!"

Randy opened his arms, ready to recieve some kind of tip against his enemy. It's not like he needed any help, anyway. Every other day it's the same thing over and over again. The same McFist with the same robots and sometimes someone would get stank'd! Not that that was any trouble either! He could defeat anything that got in his way, so this new "challenge", so to speak, was gonna be a piece o' cake!

Randy stood for a few moments longer, his arms returning back to his sides. Confused, Randy looked around, making sure that the nomicon's words weren't floating behind him, or above him. Or, well, anywhere he couldn't see them! But Randy didn't see anything.

Today, the nomicon had nothing to say.

"Oh, I see what you're saying!," Randy smiled knowingly, as if had just figured out some jeprody quiz question. "You're saying that I already know everything there is to know about my enemy, and that I don't need to worry about anything, 'cause who am I kidding, it's just the same ol' McFist! I mean, just 'cause I'm not used to these explosions of his or whatever doesn't mean I can't defeat them like I defeat everything else, as usual!"

The nomicon didn't say anything to him, so Randy just took it as a silent agreement.

He schloomped back to the world of the living, finding droll running down his face.

"Ugh, Cunningham, watching you drool like a zombie isn't one of my favorite activities, you know," Howard rolled his eyes at this sadly common sight.

Randy only laughed, patting Howard good naturedly on the shoulder.

"ReLAX, buddy, and have no fear! It's guaranteed that I'm going to defeat McFist, so have no fear! I'm off to perform my ninja duty!," Randy quipped. After a ferocious smoke bomb, the ninja was no longer inside the school building.

Howard blinked before a smile stretched across his face.

"Hehe. DUTY."

Upon reaching the football field, Randy stood a great distance from the impeding explosions. He didn't know what exactly was going on or why, but he did have a clue as to who was behind it all.

"Mcfist," Randy hissed under his breath. He didn't understand why Hannibal McFist still didn't have anything better to do but ruin the ninja's day, but he wasn't about to find out!

"I don't care why you're doing this," Randy breathed as he ran towards the explosions, "but I know that I'm gonna stop you."

As soon as the words escaped the seventeen year old's mouth, a bomb hit just a foot away, sending the ninja flying towards the bleachers. With the help of his scarf, Randy wrapped it around a pole and saved himself from a concussion-or worse injuries-in the nick of time. He squinted towards the sky, trying to piece together how in the world he was going to defeat McFist this time. Against the beam of the sunlight, he make out a helicopter flying above the field. You could barely even hear it, amist the chaos. Straining his ears, Randy heard the unmistakable voice of the man who wanted him gone.

"Viceroy, is this thing even on? Oh, it is? Oh! It IS! Well well well, NINJA, it looks like you finally showed up to your funeral! Yeah, I said it! I've been meaning to say that for a long time!," McFist laughed through the speakers, causing Randy to roll his eyes. Only McFist would be this cheesy before the ninja's 'annihilation.'

Randy stood at the top of the bleachers, glaring at the helicopter.

"And just HOW do you think you are going to make this my FUNERAL?!," he asked with his hands on his hips.

"Oh…I don't know...like THIS?!"

The bell rang, but no one dared to exit the classroom. The explosions outside were making everyone antsy, including the teachers, so no one moved.

Sitting at their desks were students of various states. Some were having panic attacks. Some were crying. Some were screaming. And a few were sleeping, believe it or not.

Howard tapped his fingers on the desk, rolling his eyes at Theresa's crying. Debby Kang just continued to listen to her music, putting it on extra loud that Howard could make out the beat.

"Just where do you think YOU'RE going?," he asked his sister, as she got up to leave the classroom.

Pulling her arm from his grip, she glared at him.

"Um, not that it's any of your business, but I just got a text from the school-news head, and they want me to do a segment on what's going outside! The local news station, fire station, and police are even getting involved! Of course I'm going to be the first one to get a piece of the action!," Hiedi had said, and with that, she left the classroom in a hurry. Mr. Orenji was too shocked by the sounds outside to care where his students were.

Howard glared at his sister's retreating back. But her words began to worry him. The local news? Fire marshals? POLICE? Howard began to bite his nails, the anxiety growing inside of him. Glancing at Morgan, he realized that he had been caught chewing his fingernails, and promptly moved his hand from his mouth, giving his crush a sheepish grin. Morgan only looked at him in disgust and faced the front again, texting on her phone. Howard would have been more embarrassed by his actions if the very fact that Cunningham was in danger didn't disturb him so much.

He rushed out the classroom in a hurry, not caring about the looks a few people gave him. If anyone noticed he had left at all.

"What did you get yourself into this time, Cunningham?," he asked aloud, running out of the school building.

Was it safe for him to be outdoors right now? No. Was there a possibility of him getting JUICED out in a football field? Maybe. Did he want to make sure his best friend was safe?

Yes.

Howard ran to the football field, staying on the outer edges. He stayed close enough to see his best friend getting positively creamed, but far enough to not get hit by some bombs. He gripped onto the metal fence, glaring against the bright flashes of light. He stepped back when a bomb came too close for comfort. Thankfully, he was far enough to not, well, die.

Against the chaos, he saw his friend shouting at the source of the explosions. Up above was a helicopter with the McFist Industries labeling on it. Of course McFist had to do something so utterly STUPID. It was just like him!

"Psh, as if the bombs are going to shoob Cunningham," he guffawed, nervously chuckling at the absurdity that was their arch-nemesis, McFist. His chuckling slowed down when he noticed something was coming straight for the Ninja.

It was as if time had stopped. Howard's grin slowly curved downward, his voice trying to reach his friend. Oh, if only the ninja could hear him.

"CUNNINGHAM, LOOK OUT!"

Randy looked at the helicopter in confusion, trying to piece what the man had meant.

"Whaddya mean?!," he shouted, not getting a reply.

Frustrated, Randy looked around him, trying to think of his next step. What could he do? He was surrounded by bombs, and he had no plan. The Nomicon didn't even help him! How was he supposed to do this alone?

There was a sudden shift in the air. Randy froze, trying to figure out what had changed. Explosions rose before him. He felt the wind change above him. Looking up, he saw a gigantic black bullet hurtling towards him. His eyes widened. His breath hitched in his throat. The bullet was coming closer and closer, not stopping for even a second.

He shifted backwards, stopping when he realized that he had no room to move out of the way. He was surrounded by not only explosions, but by bleachers that blocked his movement.

"CUNNINGHAM, LOOK OUT!"

Randy whipped his head to see his friend screaming at him. All he could see in his friend's eyes was desperation, a look he had never seen on his friend's face before.

"Howard!," Randy screamed.

Memories of time spent with his best friend flashed before his eyes. Howard and him meeting when they were younger. Howard and him fighting over who gets to eat the nachos. Howard and him…

Then all went dark.


	3. Chapter 2

"Cut!"

Hiedi sighed, wiping tears from her eyes. Yes, Ms. Hiedi Lovable Weinerman just fake-cried for the ninja's apparent "death." Why? For the popularity, of course! Besides, it's not as if she was EVIL, or anything. No one knew if the ninja was dead. The principal had told the students in the film society that the ninja was MIA, but that wasn't very interesting news. Heh, he probably escaped somehow...although that was unlikely. I mean, even the Ninja couldn't have escaped the bombs. But there was no body found, according to the principal over the loudspeakers. At least, that's what the police announced mere minutes ago.

"That was great, Hiedi! Riveting! Astounding! You captured the hearts of all who watched!," the excited president of the film society and school news station, Brandon, had said enthusiastically, growing Hiedi's ego by the minute.

"Of course it was! After all, it's my show!," Hiedi flipped her hair over her shoulder, feeling proud of herself for a job well done.

Her performance was indeed dramatic, and only she could be able to pull something off something that amazing. Her smile faded when she noticed that everyone else seemed distraught. Although she didn't want to admit it, Hiedi Wienerman's performance wasn't all that fake. She had doubt that the ninja was still alive. Everyone did.

The air was tense, too tense for her to handle. She walked out of the room, trying to escape from the anxiety growing at the pit of her stomach. She knew this move was ineffective; just because she had left the room full of anxious people, didn't mean she had escaped the anxiety herself.

Taking deep breaths, Hiedi tried to focus on her latest objective.

"Objective: Go to study hall," she whispered to herself, trying to calm herself down.

That's when it started.

The hallway began to sway. Hiedi lost sense of direction, not keeping a sense of her left and her right. She walked into a nearby locker, steadying her body against it. She quickened her breathing, thinking that this would somehow stop the mental chaos reigning inside of her. Yet, this only made things worse.

"Not now, why now, not know, why…?," she breathed, placing her hand over her heart.

Shutting her eyes, she tried to think of happy thoughts. Thinking such thoughts would usually snap her out of this misery at times like these. She thought of her brother, laughing with her as they played video games. She thought of her parents, playing a game of frisbee in the park with her when she was younger. She thought of her friends from the newspaper club, the friends she could talk about topics very few people had a passion for. She thought of the smiles people would give her when she walked down the halls. The greetings people she would receive from people she didn't even know. She thought about all of that, and eventually…

Hiedi could relax again.

Opening her eyes, Hiedi noticed that the world wasn't moving so much anymore. Relief rushed through her as she was happy that she got through another one of those awful...well, she didn't want to think about that now. Now, she just wanted to continue this day, as if the bombs or the ninja's disappearance or her panic attack didn't happen.

"Yeah, whatever," she said to herself, acting as if her panic attack had never happened. Even though her panic wasn't a living being, Hiedi liked to think of it that way. If her anxiety was a person, Hiedi would tell them to get lost(or something worse), and she could walk away with her head held up high.

Anxiety wasn't a person, though, and this angered Hiedi more than she'd like to admit.

Lost in her thoughts, Hiedi bumped into the door of the classroom she had left half of an hour ago. She tsked, glaring at the door, before opening it and entered the classroom with her nose in the air. Scanning the classroom, her eyes widened as she noticed most people were already gone. Not even decided to stay. The only one who stayed was Morgan, who was still on her phone for who knows why.

"Um...where did everyone go?," she asked the dancer, arms crossed.

"They all left. The principal said we had to leave the school, due to law regulations, so, yeah."

Hiedi's brows furrowed at the girl's words. How did she not hear the announcement? Maybe it was made during her broadcast? If that was the case, then no one had seen her segment at all! Or wait, maybe everyone had left during her panic attack? How could she not notice people leaving though? Was her anxiety getting even worse?

"Um, so yeah," Morgan interrupted her obsessive thought process, snapping Hiedi back to reality. "So, I'm gonna go now."

"Wait."

Morgan was about to leave the classroom when Hiedi had called her.

"...What?" It was Morgan's turn to give the older girl a grimace.

"If everyone left, then why did you stay?," Hiedi asked, crossing her arms and giving the girl an infamous Weinerman eyebrow lift.

Morgan gave Hiedi a look of her own, sending chills throughout the girl's spine. They locked eyes for a moment before Morgan turned away.

"Because I just thought you should know."

* * *

Howard Weinerman has done many things. Many sick, twisted, downright SCHNASTY things. However, this was arguably the strangest thing he has ever done in his whole life.

He was sitting in a graveyard.

He sat on the ground, curled up into a ball in front of his Grandmother's grave, the only tombstone he had recognized around these parts. Whenever he felt unease, he would go to Cunningham's home and play video games. If that wasn't an option-'and it never will be,' Howard realized, pained at the thought-then he would come here, and sit.

He never told anyone he'd do this, of course. Only Cunningham knew about this disturbing habit of his, and his best friend would only offer support, never shaming the boy for showing weakness.

"He always had something nice to say," he said aloud. He didn't know if he was talking to himself or to his late-Grandmother, but he knew that he was talking about Randy, and that was enough for him.  
"He was the only one who would play with me when we were younger. Heh, even today, he greeted me with a "hi Howard, how's it going?," not knowing that-that-"

Howard recalled what had happened before he came to the graveyard, opening a wound that didn't even begin to heal.

* * *

_Howard locked eyes with his best friend, too scared to do anything but scream out his name. Tears pricked his eyes from the shock, and Randy screamed back, screamed Howard's stupid, awful name as if it was his very purpose to live. As if screaming his name meant more than saving his own life._

_ When the bomb hit Randy, all Howard could see after those long, painful seconds was light. A light so bright, he wondered why he wasn't blinded. When he sensed the light fading away, he opened his eyes again to discover that his best friend's body wasn't here. It wasn't anywhere. No, it was EVERYWHERE.l_

_ Howard didn't know how to describe what he felt during those horrid moments in the aftermath. Repulsed? Mortified? All he knew was that his arms were at his sides, and he could hardly breathe when he witnessed his friend on the ground-in parts._

_ Randy's arm was near the bleachers. The right arm, because Howard could make out the arm's thumb pointing to the right on the palm side of the hand. Randy's shoe was covered in blood, hanging over a post by the laces. Randy's guts were everywhere. Upon the blood-stained grass were many parts of Randy, parts Howard would never see moving on their own ever again._

_ Howard couldn't move. He couldn't think. All he could do was fall on his knees and sob. That was the only thing he knew to do at the time. All other functions just STOPPED. Then he noticed Randy's head, staring right at him with that stupid ninja mask of his._

_ Howard howled._

_ In the background, McFist's unmistakeable voice filled the sky._

_ "YES! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! VICEROY, WE DID IT!," he sang over the speakers, unknowing to Howard, dancing with his scientist who was ecstatic his plan(THEIR plan, Mcfist corrected), had worked._

_ Howard shakingly looked up at the helicopter, his mind going blank. Suddenly, without thinking, he ran into the football field, feeling angrier than he had ever felt in his life. No, it was beyond mere anger. He was ENRAGED._

_ "HEY! MCFIST! YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU just did?! YOU KILLED MY BEST FRIEND! YOU DIDN'T JUST KILL THE NINJA! YOU KILLED MY best friend!"_

_ Yelling at the helicopter was useless. Anyone could've known that. But Howard wasn't thinking._

_ Once their twisted victory dance was over, McFist and Viceroy left the premises as soon as possible, not wanting to be discovered. Howard only stared at the retreating vehicle in disgust._

_ "YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN!," he shouted, spitting in the direction the helicopter flew away in._

_ That was when he realized that his best friend was behind him._

_ Except, well, he was dead._

_ Howard ran towards Randy's head, tripping over his own two feet. He began to crawl, desperately reaching to grab Randy's skull. Before he could even think about touching it, Randy's head, along with his other parts, suddenly rose up, forming into his body once again. For a moment, it was like Randy was whole again. Alive again. Howard stared at the ninja's floating body, hoping that Randy would come back to be his best friend in Norrisville again._

_ But no. It was just the hollow, floating, unresponsive body of his best friend. His best friend, who died in his NINJA SUIT, of all things. Howard just couldn't wrap his mind around it. Around any of it._

_ Shaking, he hesitantly stood up on his knees and awkwardly shuffled closer to the body. He fell backwards, startled by a suddenly hurtling object. Looking at it, he realized that it was the ninja nomicon._

_ Hysteria bubbled up inside Howard, forcing him to throw up instead of laugh. Did any of it make sense? Did the ninja nomicon appearing right now, at a useless time like this, when the ninja was DEAD, make any sense?!_

_ If Howard thought for a moment that his life couldn't get any more nonsensical than that, boy, was he in for a treat. The nomicon flipped open, the pages flipping by themselves in a chaotic manner. Howard glared at the book. If only the nomicon had helped his friend stay alive! Howard thought many spiteful things towards the book, but he was forced back to reality when Randy Cunningham's full body entered into the book. And then the book closed._

_ "NO!," Howard shouted, grabbing at the book. No, it couldn't take his friend's body, not after what it had DONE. Or rather, what it had NOT done._

_ He flipped open the pages, trying to find something that made sense. But all of the pages were blank._

_ "No, no no," he whispered, trying but failing to hold onto his sanity. He opened the book and decided that he was going to go after his friend's body, doing whatever it would take._

_ Opening the book, he laid it on the ground to a random page. Howard took a few steps back, and jumped onto the pages, hoping that he would get absorbed in. But that's not what happened. All that did was stain the blank pages with bloody sneaker prints.._

_ After that unfortunate incident, Howard Weinerman had flipped._

_ It was like watching a human reverse back into its primal state, becoming something almost of an animal. Howard howled, ripping the pages of the book, not caring that this was a precious book for the ninja. He stomped on it, cursed at it, spit on it. He kicked the book into the ground. He rolled onto the ash and blood covered grass, howling like a wounded animal. He wanted to do so much more. He didn't even know what he wanted anymore. He could no longer think ,he could only rage._

_ He would have continued, too, if he didn't hear the sound of an engine. Whipping around, his bright red eyes caught the sight of incoming firetrucks, cop cars, and a van from the local news station. Howard froze. He couldn't be seen around all this. He couldn't be seen like this. If Randy were here, he wouldn't want Howard to expose the ninja's identity._

_ 'What identity?,' Howard thought coldly, 'Dead people don't have identities.'_

_ But Howard was smart, and he did what anyone else in his position would have done. He ran. He ran as fast as his short legs could carry him. He jumped over a fence ,for crying out loud. It was more of a struggling climb and a fall over the wires, but that didn't make it any less-he didn't know what to call anything anymore. He just knew that he couldn't give things a name without his best friend beside him to egg him on._

* * *

This was how Howard had ended up sitting in front of his grandmother's grave with a bloodstained ash covered outfit.

He laughed despite himself, gaining some sense of calm. He needed to laugh, even if it wasn't real laughter, or else he wouldn't know what to do with himself.

"This day just can't get any worse."

A crack of lightening whipped through the air, causing Howard to jump. Rain suddenly poured down, leaving Howard completely soaked. If that wasn't enough insult to injury, Howard leaned back to prop on his elbows when he hit something. Looking over, he blinked at the object, not sure if he was dreaming or not. Sighing, he realized that no, he unfortunately was NOT dreaming, and that the nomicon had decided to follow him here, of all places.

"Well, nomicon, I didn't expect YOU to keep me company. Oh, well," Howard sighed, staring at the clouded sky, "it's not like I have anyone else. Not anymore."


	4. Chapter 3

"Ooh, honey, is everything okay?"

McFist turned to glare at the woman who spoke, but his eyes softened when he met her gaze.

"Everything's fine, honey bunch."

"Okey-dokey, just get some sleep, alright?," his wife condemned kindly, turning to face the other wall and falling back to a blissful sleep.

McFist looked at his alarm clock and sighed when he read the time.

_ 4:20 AM._

The man RARELY got insomnia. It was only on those particular nights when his life was on the line the day before. That only happened occasionally, but each and every time he was threatened at work, he never got any sleep, resulting in a very stressful, very tiring week in store for Hannibal.

He looked at the ceiling and closed his eyes, recalling the past day's events.

* * *

_ It was the day he and Viceroy were waiting for. On this particular day was the day the ninja was destroyed. Why, it was his purpose for living! It has been three years-three tiring years-of trying to vanquish the ninja. And that day arrived like the miracle it was-unexpected and much needed._

_ The bombs hit the football field, one after the other. The ninja tried to dodge them , of course, but once that fateful bomb landed on his poor, little head, blood splattered everywhere, and the ninja was gone._

_ Hannibal and Viceroy did a little happy dance in the helicopter, hugging and squealing as if they had just won lifetime passes to Whoopee World. They then flew off as fast as they could, not wanting anyone to see the 'McFist Industries' label covering the vehicle. Arriving as quickly as they could to McFist Industries, they hopped off excitedly, running into the building to find the one they needed to see the most._

_ "Finally! I'm going to get the superpower I've always dreamed of!"_

_ "Finally! I'm going to get the vacation I've always wanted!"_

_ Both men fantasized about new lives when they arrived to see the Sorcerer himself._

_ Once they summoned the Sorcerer, McFist and Viceroy faced the supernatural villain with larger than life smiles._

_ "What did you bother me with this time?," he impatiently asked, not wanting to hear another one of McFist's excuses._

_ "Why, don't you know?! The ninja-"_

_ "THE NINJA IS DEAD!," McFist cut off his assistant, who only rolled his eyes at the hyperactive response._

_ The Sorcerer only blinked at them. He proceeded to laugh for a moment, before he gave them a disbelieving look._

_ "...What?"_

_ "Didn't you hear me?! The NINJA is DEAD!," Hannibal rose his arms and swung them around, trying to get the villain to understand the significance of his statement._

_ This time, he didn't laugh back. He didn't even blink. The Sorcerer stared at the man before shooting bright, red beams at him. Viceroy ducked behind a nearby box, fortunately missing the attack. Unfortunately for McFist, he was fried to the bone, but still standing straight like the hair on his head._

_ "Wha-"_

_ "YOU DARE MOCK ME?!," the Sorcerer exclaimed, making McFist tremble in fear._

_ "YOU DARE MOCK THE GREAT SORCERER?!"_

_ "WH-what?! How did I mock y-you?!"_

_ "YOU COME HERE TO TELL ME THAT THE NINJA IS DEAD, OF ALL THINGS, AND YOU SAY THIS WHEN IT IS UNTRUE?!"_

_ McFist only looked at the green-skinned man, opening and closing his mouth. Oh, how he wanted to say something, but the monster's eyes pierced his own, making him stricken with fear._

_ McFist opened his mouth, forcing nonsensical words to escape._

_ "B-but, I, we, we SAW him. W-w-we saw him DIE-"_

_ "IF THAT WERE THE CASE," the sorcerer boomed, glaring menacingly at the shaking man, "THEN WHY HAVEN'T I ESCAPED YET?!"_

_ McFist blinked, growing confused by the minute._

_ "I-"_

_ "YOU FOOL!," the Sorcerer boomed, zapping a spark by McFist. This scared McFist into hiding behind the same box as Viceroy. "IF THE NINJA WAS REALLY DEAD, THEN WHY AM I STILL IN CHAINS?! WHY HAVEN'T I ESCAPED?! ANSWER ME THAT!"_

_ It suddenly dawned on McFist that he wasn't getting any powers anytime soon. He was FAR from it. But he couldn't have imagined the ninja's body being detroyed right before his eyes. He SAW that happen. So why was the creature who lurked from beneath the high school still in chains?_

_ "I-I-I don't know."_

_ 'Nice one, Hannibal,' he thought to himself, cringing at the meager explanation he gave._

_ "W-We SAW the ninja die! We even dropped a bomb on his head, a-and he went BOOM!," he jumped at the sound, emphasizing what had happened. McFist turned to Viceroy, silently pleading for backup, but the scientist only shook his head in fear, too scared to assert that yes, the ninja was in fact killed._

_ It didn't matter to the Sorcerer, who only screamed in rage. McFist and Viceroy stilled, watching the Sorcerer's temper fit in terror. Once he was done raging, the Sorcerer pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. He then looked into McFist's eyes again, causing the grown man to squirm._

_ "PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD, I-I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D STILL BE CHAINED! PLEASE, DON'T KILL ME!," McFist begged on his knees, the pathetic display pleasing the Sorcerer more than anyone would know._

_ After a moment of witnessing Hannibal's pathetic attempt at an apology, the Sorcerer crossed his arms and stared down at the man, his lips thin._

_ "Fine."_

_ "I-I beg your pardon?," McFist asked, not ready to believe what he had just heard._

_ "I SAID fine. You will not receive a punishment today," the Sorcerer said._

_ Viceroy sighed in relief, and McFist could barely contain his joy._

_ "THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU-!"_

_ "However," the Sorc3rer continued, holding up a finger to silence the man, "you have until the end of the Norrisville High school year to capture the ninja. If you do not destroy the ninja by June 23rd," he smiled menacingly, his yellow teeth showing, "then I WILL personally kill YOU," he pointed to Hannibal, "YOU," he gestured to Vicerory, "and all of those closest to you both," the Sorcerer finished, waving his arm across the room._

_ Both the rich man and the scientist gulped, feeling a range of emotions all at once. They were grateful for the extended time to defeat the ninja, that was a given. But the new threat and deadline added to the already enormous amount of pressure placed upon their shoulders._

_ However, they brushed off all bad feelings, at least for the moment, and they stood up, looking down to the ground in a feared kind of respect._

_ "Yes, Sorcerer,:" they both said like robots, causing the Sorcerer to laugh evilly._

_ "Excellent," he cooed, before he disappeared to go back to where he resided._

* * *

A beeping sound woke up the groggy teenager, who only hit the alarm clock with a groan. He turned over, pulling the cover up to his face. The sunlight shined from the window, hitting his line of sight and causing him to hiss. But Howard didn't even care anymore.

He didn't care about going to school. He didn't care to stay home and pretend he was sick. He didn't care about ANYTHING.

His best friend had, unknowingly to everyone else, DIED. Randy Cunningham was DEAD, and no one who cared about him knew. Howard didn't dare tell his friend's mother, who called in a panic yesterday. She called the Weinerman residence, asking if her baby boy was over at his house. Howard had told her, with forced enthusiasm, that yes, he was, and that he wanted to sleep over, if that was okay with her. Ms. Cunningham said it WAS okay with her, and that she expected him to be back after school the next day.

How could he POSSIBLY tell the woman that her son was DEAD? It's not like he could say Randy was bombed by some guy who happened to be the richest man for miles, and that, oh yeah, HE witnessed it all go down. He couldn't say that Randy's body had exploded into pieces, but, thanks to the darned nomicon, it pieced back together, ninja suit and all, and WENT INTO THE BOOK BY UNEXPLAINED FORCES. Oh yeah, and that Randy was the NINJA. No, he couldn't say ANY of it, and it killed him. Not only because no one would believe him, but because, even though his friend was dead, Randy wouldn't have wanted Howard to expose his identity as the ninja.

"What am I gonna do?," Howard groaned, wiping his hands over his face. He sat up and looked out the window, wondering if it was all just some sick, twisted nightmare. It had to be! It just HAD to! He clinged onto that seed of hope, and smiled, filled with the twisted kind of ecstasy that was hope itself. He turned to look at his bedside table, which shattered any and all positive feelings remaining in the boy. For the ninja nomicon was by his bedside-which was NOT where he put it. He left it in the graveyard, wanting it to rot like it let Randy's body rot. It could have HELPED his friend. It could have SAVED his friend! It could have done anything, but it didn't do a single thing to prevent the ninja's death. Howard knew these expectations were not plausible in the least, but he had to blame something-ANYTHING-for this friend's sudden death. But, of course, the book had followed him, mocking his very existence.

"What do YOU want?," he sneered at the book, daring it to fight back.

"UM, what are you doing?," his sister startled him, breaking up the staredown between the nomicon and Howard.

"Um, I, uh...I'm sick," he said, giving his sister a sheepish grin, who only gave him one of her famous 'you cray-cray' looks.

Sighing, Heidi said, "Yeah, you sure ACT like you're sick, since you're talking to a BOOK and all. Anyway, I understand. I played hookey a lot when I was a junior. It eased some of the stress," she said with an eye roll, then proceeded to go down the stairs.

"MOM, HE SAID HE'S SICK!," her yell made Howard chuckle, allowing him to pretend that everything was back to normal.

If only his sister, or anyone, knew of the pain that he was going through right now.

He laid back down, staring at the ceiling in thought. He couldn't think, and he wasn't hungry. He had to pee, but could care less if he wet himself. Howard didn't want to move, and he didn't want to cry. All he wanted was...was…

"Randy," he croaked, his voice cracking.

He blinked back tears, hoping that no one would see him cry. So he waited. He waited for his entire family to leave to their respective duties-hehe, DUTY-and once he heard the door locked behind the lot, Howard gave himself permission to cry.

Tears ran down his face in a neverending stream. Howard didn't even try to wipe them away, because all old tears were replaced by new ones in less than a second. Mourning was a strange process. It was even stranger, because he was the only one who knew that his friend was dead. Currently, he was the only one who cared, and that caused a new wave of misery to wash over the boy.

After what seemed like HOURS(but was only minutes), Howard got up, needing to use the toilet more than he'd like to admit. He walked to the bathroom begrudgingly, wanting to go back to bed the moment he finished using the toilet(he didn't ALWAYS wash his hands).

While in the bathroom, something was happening in Howard's very room. The nomicon transferred to the floor, shaking as if there was an earthquake. When Howard finally walked back to his room, he shrieked, escaping to the hallway. He then came back, this time, with a baseball bat in hand.

"Okay, nomicon, you've been following me like the stalker you are, and NOW, now you're just acting WEIRD!," he bellowed, staring at the glowing, sharking book. The nomicon suddenly flipped pages on its own, causing Howard to scream even louder.

"I HAVE A BASEBALL BAT, AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!," Howard screamed, wanting to hit the nomicon with his baseball bat, but too scared to actually do it. The book only shined even brighter. Howard circled the nomicon, his bat facing the book, ready to attack(but really, who WOULD attack a possessed book? Not Howard, that's for sure!). Suddenly, Howard couldn't defend himself, even if he wanted to, because the light shined so brightly, that the shear beam physically pushed him against his wall.

The beam died down once he recovered from the blow. He frantically looked around for his bat, wanting to defend himself for whatever else was about to happen, but his eyes landed on the now passive book. Standing in front of that book was a pair of sneaker-clad feet. Howard's eyes trailed up the person's body, his eyes widening when he saw his face.

_ "Yo."_


	5. Chapter 4

Howard's jaw dropped. He didn't have a moment to even register who was in front of him. The only thing he could do was drape his arms around his best friend's body, and sob into the boy's neck.

"Oh, Randy! I-I can't believe it's you! It's really YOU! And-and you're really HERE! You're ALIIIIIIIVE!," he wailed, continuing to sob all over the boy.

That is, until he was pushed away.

Howard looked up to the boy in shock, blinking hard. He began to rub his eyes, hoping it wasn't an illusion. When he stopped rubbing his eyes and looked at the scene in front of him, he could practically hear his heart breaking at the empty sight in front of him. Gone was the boy who raised from the dead.

_"Boo,"_ a voice whispered in his ear, causing him to shriek and fall backwards. He turned to the source of laughter, and once again, Howard gaped up at him.

"Aw, did you miss me, HOWARD?," he asked, tsking at the boy on the floor.

"Oh, Cunningham, you came back!," Howard rose, reaching once more for his friend who came back from the dead, when a large hand covered his face.

"Oh, no, I'm not who you think I am," the boy said, waving his finger around. He let go of Howard's face and stepped back.

_ "Remember me?"_

Smirking, the boy lifted up his hood and stared at Howard blankly. Then he smirked at the boy, pleased to see that the other boy began to realize just who he REALLY was.

_"NOMI-RANDY?!,"_ Howard pointed at the boy in front of him, who glowed his eyes red in return.

"Miss me?," he asked, taking sick pleasure in seeing the other boy crumbling psychologically. Since he was from the nomicon, Nomi-Randy could sense human emotions more than most could ever possibly hope to. It was a perk for the manipulative mastermind that he was-at least, that's how he saw it, anyway.

"Aw, Howard, you shouldn't stare. It's impolite," he walked up to the statue of a boy, closing his jaw for him. "Oh, and you shouldn't call people names they don't wanna be called-that's ALSO impolite!," he laughed, smacking the boy across the face.

It took Howard a while to recover from the hit. Once he did, he glared at the laughing look-a-like in rage. Was this the nomicon's way of repentance? That book sent HIM, Randy's awful clone? Nomi-Randy wasn't just awful. BASH was awful. Nomi-Randy was EVIL. He was the worst possible version of Randy that Randy could have ever hoped to never be.

But instead of returning his old friend, the nomicon decided to bring HIM.

"Well, if you don't like being called 'Nomi-Randy,' then I have a lot of other names I could call you," Howard seethed, curling his fists at his sides.

The other boy suddenly stopped laughing, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. He then looked at Howard distastefully, getting too close for the other boy's comfort.

"Yo, how 'bout you call me by my NAME?," he breathed into Howard's face, causing Howard to crinkle his nose from the strong scent of mint and evil.

"How about you tell me why you're here, _NOMI-RANDY?_," Howard emphasized the nickname, pushing him away.

Nomi-Randy glared at Howard, sending chills down the redhead's spine. He then sighed, turning to face the opposite wall with a frown.

"I dunno."

"Huh? Wait, WHAT?"

"I DUNNO! I dunno why I'm here, alright?! Geez!," Nomi-Randy swung around to face Howard, allowing the other boy to finally look at the raw emotion the other boy didn't know an evil 'twin' could possess.

"LOOK, all I know is that I'm here, and Cunningham's dead! That's all I know! And the NOMICON," he sung the book's name for emphasis, earning a snort from Howard, "wants me here, alright?! I don't even wanna BE here! Ya know, I honestly thought that if Cunningham's dead, I would be dead! But I'm not! Heck, I'm more alive than I've ever been! So maybe you could do me a favor and PISS OFF!," he yelled, kicking Howard's backpack across the room. Nomi-Randy then walked out of the house and slammed the door behind him.

Howard stood, stunned by the turn of events. In fact, he was surprised that any of that had happened at all. Then, like the confused, distraught teenage boy that he was, he began to laugh. He laughed heartily, falling to the ground in a sadistic heap of madness. He didn't think any of it-ANY of it-was funny in the least. But, being through so many events without even a warning of some kind had tipped the boy off the deep end, losing himself to his own hysteria.

He stopped laughing when he heard the door slam again, thinking his parents were home. He didn't want them to find him like this. Frick, he didn't want them to find 'Randy' in his house during school hours! His parents would flip, they'd call Randy's mom, and then SHE would flip. Just imagining the potential string of events rose a great amount of fear in Howard, and he flew down the stairs in a frenzy. He ran into the kitchen when he heard the fridge being closed, and braced himself for whoever was there.

"MOM! DAD! LET ME EXPLAIN…!," he started, but he couldn't even finish his sentence when he saw who it really was.

Sitting at the kitchen table was none other than Nomi-Randy. He was eating out of a jar with his feet on the table. The boys had a staredown before Nomi-Randy took his spoon out of the jar, waving the spoon in the air questioningly.

_ "Nutella?"_**  
**


End file.
